It's felt like forever since I've written in this blog. I don't feel bad, because I know that sometime in the future, I will write here again. A TON has happened since the last post. In vague order of importance:

I've moved to Austin to try to become a teacher after graduating from Cornell (4 glorious years).

I'm about to start a term of service with the AmeriCorps program, Communities in Schools.

I'm dating Ms. Julia Woodward, a pillar and a bright light in my life.

I'm slowly but surely meeting new, cool people in Austin.

I've stayed in touch with a good number of friends, like the apartment gang, Ben, Alix, Terry,

Flo, Sheila, Tiffany, Andrew, Kelly. Snail mail has been a huge source of happiness.

I think I should talk about the present, because the present is really like the culmination, the peak of all the past added up. You should always be working towards the future, which is just an infinite set of the present, and the present is generally what matters most. The past is also important because you look back on it all the time, and it is important that you are somewhat content, and that you always remember the people you've lost touch with, for various reasons.

So my present state of being is very good. It's funny, this morning I was woken up by my phone ringing: some unavailable number. It was someone at Travis High School, asking if I wanted to set up an interview for the special ed TA position that I applied for a couple weeks ago. I admit I was a little dazed, but I blurted out, "No thanks, I'm working for the AmeriCorps now." After that phone call, I layed there in my bed and thought for a while: did I just fuck things up? Did I let go a golden opportunity? I always have a lot of confidence when it comes to interviewing, because I'm a big dreamer and I have a good interview track record for getting the job. Eventually, I realized that I did not make the wrong choice. Yes, all of the TTF fellows who were in a TA position transitioned to full time teaching positions last year. Yes, I would be working full time in the Austin I.S.D. and making significantly more money. But also: yes, I would have to break an AmeriCorps contract that I had just signed. Yes, I am not totally sold on being a teacher. Yes, I want to be one for a little bit, but yes, I will go back to school and pursue something different. This is because I believe that I am more of a 'thinker' than a 'classroom manager.' I love to see kids succeed and make things that they are proud of, and that's the main reason I want to be in a classroom. Next year, I think it'll once again be a decision of whether to try to be a teacher or going to serve in the Peace Corps. The good thing is that I will have been in an Austin I.S.D. school for most of an entire school year, and I will be a year older and wiser. Besides all this professional stuff, I'm slowly being integrated into my roommate Dave's group of friends. I still don't feel totally free to express myself (I am limiting myself somehow, but I don't feel in control), but at least I'm meeting new people and talking and sharing with them. That's where I'm going right now! It's Bintil's last night, so we're having a little going away party with games, food, drink and music. I also just want to say that I adore my girlfriend Julia, and I can't wait to see her at the end of this month in Boston.

cont.

This has been one of the most successful, busy yet rewarding semesters at Cornell yet. Going down to Texas and securing a fellowship, then going down again and passing those darn tests... that's good stuff. Maybe I'm not used to actually getting things, but I have this... underwelmed feeling. Like things haven't been hard enough. That's going to change soon enough. But it's also that I don't quite feel satisfied in general. Maybe it's that I'm missing a certain element in my life... Forcing myself to kind of push Flo away has created a void which hasn't been filled. What is cool though is that I've hung out with some pretty crazy chicks lately. The Ale House with Monica was crazy. I've become good friends with Julia, whom I only knew by her column before, and it turns out we're kind of the exact same person. Hanging with Terry is always fun, and it's unreal she BOUGHT a condo in Cincinatti. Helen is an awesome girl who's studying abroad in Switzerland next semester... she's pumped and I'm pumped for her! Overall, I've become friends with a lot of cool new people this semester. But who's the person I can ALWAYS chill with? I'm just asking the question; I'm not sad about it. Those last two sentences are aimed at the future me and anyone who could read this and think Wow, this guy is anxious.

Today

Right now, I'm feeling a lot of emotions. Most of them very good. Right now, I'm feeling ambitious, driven, strong, versatile, up-and-coming, even. Yeah, it's a form of narcissism to keep this blog, and maybe even more so to go ahead and create a blog post that begins with what I think of myself these days. But maybe (it's more endearing) to go ahead and say perhaps the most over-arching emotion I am feeling right now is confusion. I don't think I'm completely lost, but socially I find myself too spread out. My best friends aka my three apartment mates are great and I see them every day, but I... It's mostly that there's so little time left in Ithaca. It's also that I'm hanging out with a girl with a boyfriend. It's also that I haven't found someone to really Talk to since Flo left, someone who I can talk to about goofy things, serious things, future things, and then snuggle with. I know that's unhealthy to miss her after so much time has passed, and after I promised myself that I would try to live without her completely. What does that mean?

Anyways, there's a lot going right in my life right now. This weekend I'm headed to Boston with some randos and hopefully my sister is also tagging along. I'm going to be staying with Tiffany, whom I haven't seen in a really long time. I also hopefully will be seeing Uncle Zhung and Nana and Papa. I'm rock climbing with Garret on Saturday and it's marathon fever in Baastin. (Where the hell did that shirt go?)

Mom's friend, Anita Watkins, has been tremendously generous and helpful, what with her ESL program. On Thursday I'm going to sit in on an advanced-ESL class at Hasbrouck, then on Monday or Tuesday I'm going to drop in on Anita's class near East Hill Plaza. She sent me an email today mentioning that a post doc is trying to set up an ESL program during may / june, and that this may be a way for us to both 'get our feet wet together.' Hopefully I'm around for four weeks of that!!! That would be tremendous. Anita could also be a stupendous reference. I should have looked her up earlier. I should also go down to the high school and sit in on real ESL classes, that is those most similar to what I'm going to be doing in Austin.

Other than all that... I guess I just love my parents and my sister. It'll be tremendous to leave Ithaca and the proximity of mom and dad. It's crazy thinking that I'm going to pack my belongings in three or four bags and fly down to Austin a week after graduation. It's what dad did when he was younger. It's especially intimidating because I know this job is going to be hella hard.

Mom has told me this story a couple of times: leaving for Stanford grad school, dad took a plane across the country with all of his stuff in a big suitcase. Mom met him some time later. I used that suitcase to carry most of my stuff to Denmark. Now I'm going to see Tiffany and hopefully Matt, Kathleen, Emily, Lucy...

Peace Corps Panel and a local celebrity

A couple of days ago, there was a Peace Corps discussion panel in Barnes Hall. It was purely coincidental that I heard about it, through an ad in the Sun. I had a lot of work that day, but since I just recently got my official nomination to the Peace Corps (not an acceptance, unfortunately) a day before, I couldn't really pass the opportunity up.

The panel was a long desk in front, six different Peace Corps alumni, two of them being married. Let's start with those. The married couple served in the 60's in Afghanistan. The guy was a doctor and is now an orthopedic surgeon, and the woman kind of just tagged along and took care of their two young sons. The woman was extremely enthusiastic about the experience, and you could tell because of how widely she smiled and kind of laughed to herself as she recalled different aspects of the adventure. She made a great friend and ally over there, an Afghan neighbor, who showed her the ropes with the language(s) by translating and also bringing her to cultural events, like tea parties and book club meetings or something. The guy was a little more subdued, but he's the kind of person you know has some crazy stories up his sleeve. He told us that when a messenger rang his doorbell at midnight, he would hop on his bike and bicycle to the E.R. That is crazy-- I can't even imagine. You're bicycling to save someone's life! And then he bicycled back-- so he bicycled even if he just saw someone die! Jesus.

A Cornell Grad '06 or something went to Peru for business consulting. The reasons she applied to the Peace Corps were very interesting. She went to Chile her fall semester senior year after getting a job offer from Boeing, and when she was down there backpacking, she saw the devastating effect a paper company had on the environment she was walking in. She knew that this company should hold a lot more accountability for their actions, and thus she went for business consulting in latin america. She said it was extremely cold there because of the elevation. All the time. 24/7

A blond bubbly chick (no, I'm not saying blondes are dumb-- she seemed very smart) basically blurted out how tough it was in Mauritania (which does not have any Peace Corps volunteers at this time). She said a year in, A Year In, was the first time she could communicate with locals (ask them their opinion or advice) and do something with her hands simultaneously. She said that she could hitchhike 5 hours to a city to see other Americans, but that she was very isolated.

This guy from the audience asked the panel if they ever thought of quitting, and this girl said that she just felt like she had to do what she said she would do... but she did know of other people who quit (one guy 16 hours in, he just said It was too Hot). That was crazy-- on the plane the next day. Since my nomination is for Sub-Saharan Africa, these things kind of scare me but kind of excite me. The Mauritania-based volunteers called the other countries Posh Corp.

The fifth speaker was a woman who went to Guatemala.

The sixth speaker was a lady who served in the Phillipines during the eighties. She came at us with a different attitude, saying, "This is the only way you, straight out of college, can go to a third world country and get paid and have this kind of experience for two years."


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I've also been listening a bit to this singer-songwriter named Juliana Richer Daily. She's in my year and quite a hit on youtube. She has a very beautiful voice and she's pretty handy with an acoustic guitar. Oddly, I haven't listened too much to her originals, but her covers of Wake Up (Arcade Fire), My Boy Builds Coffins (Florence and the Machine) and Bad Romance (Lady Gaga) are really good. I think she's going to release her covers for free, and make an EP available on itunes at some point. Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/user/julianaeveryday

Oscar Nominated Shorts- Animatoin

Saw the Oscar Nominated Shorts- Animation tonight. There were maybe 6 shorts, ranging from 6 minutes to 30 minutes (almost all were under 10). The first was called French Roast, in it a stereotypical Frenchman drinks coffee at a cafe. He refuses a beggar's hand and discovers he's lost his wallet, so he keeps on ordering coffee to delay having to pay. An old woman comes in and gives the beggar a lot of money and the Frenchman contemplates pickpocketing her. Chaos ensues. This was really just a silly story. Very fun.

The second short was really really good. It was from Spain and produced in part by Anotonio Banderas. An old woman gets into a tug of war between the grim reaper and an E.R. doctor. Death becomes so frustrated that the lady keeps on coming back to life via AED's that he chases her through the hospital.

I think the next one was Wallace and Gromit: Between Loaf and Death or something like that. It was 30 minutes long and developed a real plot. I didn't think it had quite the originality of the Wallace and Gromit movies Sophie and I watched at Nana and Papa's house, but that's nostalgia for you.

An American short by Disney-Pixar starring a sultry cloud and his loyal stork friend was pretty fun, and in the words of the woman behind me "very kid friendly."

A Canadian short was rather silly and probably my least favorite, it was placed on disfunctional train packed with aristocrats and lunatics.

I forgot to mention a German short called Old Grimmy's tales or something like that. This was the funniest because it was spot on with its humor. A grandma tells her terrified grandson her version of Sleeping Beauty, starring her, the elderly, decrepit fairy with a knee problem.

last short was interesting, called "Logorama." It was an adult-oriented thing (think South Park except way drier) and there were hundreds of references to brand names. For instance, the main characters were some Michelin men (cops). The landscape, the cars, the pedestrians, all the houses, everything was a culture reference. This movie was French, and most of the brands were American-- is that a jab?

This is the kind of thing that makes Cornell Cinema really really worthwhile. Unfortunately, students composed a minority of the audience. So while we each pay a certain amount for Cornell Cinema, I don't think that's the problem; we simply aren't taking advantage of it. I mean, everyone pays for Running Club, Photo Society and every other club (though much less for each of those than Cornell Cinema). This showing, along with the other Oscar Nominated Shorts- Live Action, the Andy Warhol thing, The Quay Brothers, guest speakers, Black Maria film fest... those are the things that people really miss out on! You could see Inglorious Basterds or even Exploding Girl or City of God pretty much anywhere (and you can always download that stuff and watch it on your computer or on a projector), but these unique festivals and guest speakers are truly special, and are not things you can see just anywhere. I don't think we need to reduce Cornell's student funding, but it should be a priority to make the whole thing sustainable. To do that, I think better advertising is needed.

Chicken and the Egg

About rock climbing. Today, I FINALLY got a hard problem. It was only worth 80 pts, but I'm proud of being able to do that. I also conquered two medium problems that I sometimes have problems with. My final accomplishment today was throwing down like 4 moves on a crack. I guess I was tired from yesterday though, because when Kamil and I were top-roping, I really could not reach up and get those holds. I ended up scratching my left hand up and not really doing the route.

Pros for climbing: it's a discipline. it takes patience. you need tolerance for pain. you can translate it outside. you can hang from cracks. you can have specific goals, like boulder problems and routes. outdoorsy people are usually really cool and laid back.

Negatives for climbing: it can be really frustrating when you repeatedly try a problem, and each time you get further and further away from your goal. height and flexibility are a problem for me. i hate sliding off a hold because it's greasy-- absolutely annoying. feet death-- laura.

So dad really did write that poem!! I like it a lot. I decided today that some day, dad and I will travel around the world together, via sailing, biking, hiking, whatever it takes. I think that would be the tops. I think dad deserves a partner; I don't want him to do it alone. I want in on those memories. It won't be next year or the one after that because I need to make some money, but within the next 10 years for sure. before he gets to 60. maybe in 6 years.

I felt a bit inadequate at our C.H.I. MacCormick meeting today, like I had nothing to contribute. What we decided: drop math from our tutoring (we would need to meet more often with the kids for math to be time-effective), hopefully buy a book that we can all read and discuss together, talk to Bev to see if we can get a group of kids from Charlie or Delta units to come Every time. this week (I won't be there), we're planning on playing them a rap song and asking them to write down a story explaining what the rap song is about. I think Carlo picked something by Fabolous.

lastly, I was feeling really down this morning. facebook makes it more tough, because things on the newsfeed come up that really aren't good for the psyche-- but in reality it's just people talking to each other. i guess i just don't like the transparency. sleeping helps.

i saw something kind of interesting in the Sun this morning: did language shape the brain or did the shape of the brain dictate the formation of language? it would be really cool to study the physical contours of the brain.

What is this...poem business?

I took one of Eric's glasses from the dishwasher and filled it with OJ from the corner store. I put my lips to the edge of the glass, which was warm, and drank a sip. The temperature difference between the glass and the OJ was surprising.

Yesterday, I found a poem by William Wordsworth in one of my school books: Uncommon Ground edited by William Cronon. The poem was a tribute to the Simplon pass in the Alps, the same bitch that dad and I toiled on for many an hour. That was the longest climb I've ever done-- 26 miles (or was it kilometers) long, and when we got to the top there was a lodge with some good food and a giant statue of a falcon looking over the valley. Dad went up that same pass last summer, it's in Switzerland. When I sent him that poem, he sent me something back:

Up ahead, ten miles
and 2000 feet
down below, switzerland
up ahead, a more enterprising cyclist
waiting once again
for a tiring companion
down below, a camp site and some sausages,
up ahead, italy
down below, it doesn't matter
life is not a poem

did he write that??

Another pretty great thing happened this weekend, down at the Bookery. I saw one of my former substitute teachers read from a novel she's been writing for years! I can't really remember which class she substitute-taught in, but her name is Mrs. Dutt and she always seemed really shy. She remembered me though, by initials. She thought my name was Richard Sharpe or something like that. After talking to her, I called her up tonight (she gave me her card) to ask her just a few questions: what made you sign up for this reading; what are your plans for this novel; why is this kind of reading important for the community? I'll post the article I'm writing for the Sun soon. As I walked out, another lady commented that she saw my camera, and that she just gave her AE-1 away to a college student. Good luck indeed!